The Social Mirror: Loneliness, and Self-Esteem in Eighth Grade and Black Mirror’s Nosedive

In today’s digital landscape, the relationship between self-esteem and social media is more relevant than ever. The film Eighth Grade (2018) and the Nosedive episode of Black Mirror offer compelling portrayals of this dynamic. Eighth Grade follows Kayla, a young teen navigating the pressures of social media, depicting how online interactions can shape and often undermine self-worth. Through her constant search for validation in an online world, Kayla’s experience reflects the universal struggle of many who feel their self-esteem is tethered to the curated personas they present online. Similarly, Nosedive presents a dystopian world where social status is dictated by social media ratings, illustrating the extreme consequences of living for online approval. In this hyper-connected society, individuals are reduced to numerical scores that directly impact their opportunities and relationships, demonstrating a chilling reality where social media dominates personal identity. Together, these narratives highlight the profound impact social media can have on our self-esteem, prompting critical reflection on how our digital lives shape our sense of self and well-being in an increasingly virtual world.

The film Eighth Grade (2018) follows Kayla, a 13-year-old, through her final week of middle school. A shy and socially awkward teenager, the film accurately and sensitively portrays the struggles of adolescent girls in the digital age and its impact on their self esteem. Through Kayla’s use of social media and her interactions with peers, the film captures the pressure of adolescence in the digital age, where social media simultaneously exists as both a tool for connection and a source of anxiety. 

The film draws attention to the increased social pressure that teenagers face with the rise of social media. In a particularly poignant scene, Kayla lays in bed at night, with the soft glow of her phone illuminating her face in the darkness. She scrolls mindlessly through Instagram, internalizing pictures of seemingly perfect peers and their active social lives. The contrast between the images on her phone and her solitude in the dark magnifies how social media becomes a source of comparison and insecurity for Kayla, creating an unattainable standard of perfection for her to aspire towards. The camera lingers on her mixed expression of longing, frustration, and sadness, encapsulating how social media can feel like an unending loop of seeking connection but instead deepening isolation, which distorts self-perception and fosters comparison.

In addition to using Instagram, Kayla creates and posts motivational YouTube videos that showcase a confident, outgoing version of herself that she wishes she could be. She presents herself as confident and self-assured, offering motivational advice to an audience she imagines but which does not tangibly exist. The contrast between her real-life self and this curated persona exposes the gap between how social media allows people to present themselves and how they truly feel. The film underscores how the constant pursuit of likes and validation from online platforms can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and insecurity. 

Similarly, Kayla’s use of Snapchat reveals her deep desire for validation and connection, particularly with her crush, Aiden. She meticulously crafts her Snap messages and obsessively replays them, trying to strike the perfect balance of coolness and approachability. These moments underscore how social media encourages teens like Kayla to curate their interactions, amplifying the pressure to conform to an idealized version of themselves. 

Similarly, the Black Mirror episode “Nosedive” (2016) examines the darker side of social media in a dystopian society where personal interactions are rated through a five-star system and these social media ratings determine people’s access to social opportunities, jobs, and housing. The episode’s protagonist, Lacie, obsesses over improving her rating, believing it to be the key to happiness and success. As the episode progresses and she experiences a sequence of awkward interactions, her rating drops and she grows more and more erratic in her attempts to boost her score. The episode highlights how social media fosters a performative culture, where validation is tied to arbitrary metrics, creating an oppressive feedback loop of approval-seeking.

Much like Kayla in Eighth Grade, Lacie crafts a polished, cheerful persona that she presents to the world, hiding her authentic self behind the facade of perfection. The rating scale exacerbates her feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and the pressure to conform. Lacie’s desperation to climb back up the social hierarchy leads to increasingly erratic behavior and displays the real-world consequences that arise from tying self-esteem to social media metrics. 

Both Eighth Grade and Nosedive expose the emotional toll of living in a hyperconnected world. Social media offers an illusion of connection, but for both Kayla and Lacie, it amplifies their loneliness and erodes their self-worth. By portraying these struggles so vividly, these stories remind viewers of the importance of authenticity and the need to critically examine the role of social media in our lives.

Through these characters, we see how social media can blur the line between connection and comparison, leaving individuals feeling isolated despite constant digital interaction. These narratives serve as powerful reflections of our modern reality, sparking conversations about how to navigate the pressures of social media while preserving mental health and self-esteem.

      In conclusion, both Eighth Grade and the Nosedive episode of Black Mirror serve as powerful commentaries on the intricate relationship between self-esteem and social media. These narratives underscore the potential dangers of seeking validation in the digital world and the profound impact it can have on one’s mental well-being. They reveal how, in our pursuit of online approval, individuals can become trapped in cycles of comparison, insecurity, and emotional distress. By reflecting on these stories, we can gain a deeper understanding of the societal pressures fostered by social media and the importance of fostering genuine self-worth beyond the screen. Ultimately, these works challenge us to reconsider our digital habits and emphasize the need to cultivate real-world connections, self-acceptance, and mental resilience in an era where our online lives increasingly shape our perceptions of ourselves.

References 

Burnham, B. (Director). (2018). Eighth Grade [Film]. A24.
Wright, R. (Writer), & Wright, J. (Director). (2016). Nosedive (Black Mirror, Season 3, Episode 1) [TV series episode]. In C. Brooker (Creator), Black Mirror. Zeppotron/Netflix.